Baby Janis

The day before at the beach didn't seem like an October fall day + it definately didn't feel like Halloween week so we went to the Pumpkin Patch for the holiday's festivities. Last year the mini ponies scared her but this year she was a pro after having already been around them at the circus. Or maybe because she likes My Little Pony. Either way, she was so chill, clearly obviously too cool.

 When I was pickng her outfit for the day it kinda had a 60s vibe with the fur and boots + I thought of Janis Joplin, the original boho female. So I thought I would really go with it because it is almost Halloween after all + added the scarf + headband for the full effect. This part of Texas isn't exactly the most fashion forward so we got some weird looks but who cares we always do ;) The pony owner knew exactly who P was channeling and told us how much she loved Janis. Me too lady. Win.

beachin baby

Taking it all in. This, people, is why we moved to texas. One days drive, we went to the ocean + we were in our own bed that night. I've always known I wanted to live simply. No huge house. No fancy car. Live small and travel big. Yes, it was just the gulf but we did this on a whim, with a little one no less, + hey, it's the beach. We're from the Midewest with no beach in sight except for maybe Smithville Lake + I do not do the lake. 

Every summer my parents would show us the best vacation they could and we got to see some pretty cool places (ahem, Graceland!) but with a family of 5, 4 out of the 5 being ladies at that, traveling was never easy and I'm sure it took a ton of planning and stress to take our ungrateful selves on these excursions. I don't remember anything of our Corpus Christi trip from when I was a youngn' except that it was Selena's hometown. Holla! So this trip was brand new and I am now a grown up, not really, with my own family. The feeling I got when I saw Pres taking in the salt air, watching the waves and feeling the sand was unreal + made my heart skip. I thought of how my parental units must have felt when they were able to do something special for us. Though I don't remember everything about our trips, I do remember what it felt liked to see the ocean for the first time. 

Pea got an ocean book this summer + has been talking about it nonstop. With everything she has learned with the combination of her ever growing vocab, she has developed a certain drive to finding out all for her herself what the wonders of the world are all about. She started to actually ask to see the ocean. The girl has seen it many times in SF but the water is chilly + she has to wear a beanie because the temps are never that high when we've been there. We wanted to do a trip to Padre but this summer went by so fast + my husband's on call shifts are plenty during that time so we hadn't gotten around to it. That last sentence has made me feel so guilty. I figured she could see it and remember it this next time we'll be in SF + I promised she would but that wasn't enough for me. I woke up Saturday and had this urge to take her and let her feel the sand and water before it got chilly in TX. I thought be here now. I couldn't think about how the summer had past and how we would go in the future. I wanted to take a chance on our present even though none of it was planned. So we did.

I don't talk politics or religion, especially on here, but whatever you believe, look at this sight. Makes me wonder how it all became and how I will explain it all to her one day.

Saying her g'byes.

Coolest park. The crowd made me think of my KC fam and the barbecues at Rosedale Park.

camera roll: september 2013 edition

I love camera roll posts. Its more of a realistic view of what a normal day consists of with a kid...chaos. I'm sure some wonder how I have the time/effort/desire to put so much into my baby as she's gotten older + the sweet baby phase is over + she's no longer just an accessory on my hip. Even though she knows how to model pout for the camera + she's put together as we leave the house, those photos really only show 1% of our day. Once the camera is put up, she starts ripping her shoes off, gets some sort of food in her hair or gets just plain dirty in muddy water. 

Some days we stay in jammies all day (well at least until daddy comes home + then I throw on jeans for me and a clean tee for her. I like to look at least a little presentable for my husband ;) I don't try to act like life with a wild child is picture perfect. Thats why I can't relate to most blogs because it is just so fake sometimes. Sure I don't put pictures up when she's crazy face crying or with spaghetti smeared all over her, but I don't like to pretend like she's the most perfect child that never throws a tantrum or makes a horrific mess when I'm drying my hair.

 Sometimes I wish for nap time to come faster + other days we don't even notice she's sleepy. It all depends. I love the pics of moms that are taking endless selfies + I always wonder what their house really looks like + where their children are during their i love me time. 

It's funny, my high maintenance has subsided + has completely manifested in her. Don't get me wrong, I still dress up with hair, make-up + the whole shebang, I just have a different routine now + choose to focus more time on her than do my lipstick for an hour. In the beginning, I would try to do it all: be completely ready, have her dressed with a clean house + made from scratch lunches + dinners. It was easy in the beginning when she slept for 4 hour stretches but as she grew older, I grew tired of trying to fit into the superwifemom role blogs out there try to depict. None of it is real. I have never wanted to be anything I wasn't so I didn't know why I was trying to be perfect.

 So, most days I have to make choices. Do I wash my hair and take the time to style it? or just pull it back and do a puzzle with her before errands? I always choose her. I am not saying I'm anyone special for being present with my kid, I just know in the grand scheme of things when I look back at my life and time with her, will it have mattered if the dishes and laundry were done, her room was clean or if I wore eyeliner that day? No.

grumpy

crazy

loopy

messy